


Water, water, everywhere

by ocelot_core



Series: MGS Summer Games 2020 [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Summer, mother base shenanigans, the ocelot unit being a nightmare for kaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocelot_core/pseuds/ocelot_core
Summary: It's a lovely morning on Mother Base, and you are a horrible Ocelot Unit.Or, Commander Miller gets an impromptu shower.Written for MGS Summer Games 2020! ocelot_core, ocelot unit, challenge F4, 15points
Series: MGS Summer Games 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884955
Kudos: 9
Collections: Metal Gear Solid - Summer Games -2020





	Water, water, everywhere

Life on Mother Base was surprisingly peaceful. The sea breeze blew refreshingly through the humid air at the top of the intel platform. Gulls and other sea birds snapped fish from the ocean far, far below, and nested in nooks discovered between pipes and generator boxes and walkways. The asphalt absorbed and radiated heat from the blistering sun, but far less so under shadow of the dome. In the distance, Oncilla could hear helicopters rumbling into the hangar, and further, faintly, the bleat of sheep.

Oncilla liked the calm. After a scattered almost decade of doing odd jobs for Ocelot while trying to make some kind of living in a post-MSF world, it was nice to have something stable. Stable and not too busy, as well. It was nice having a mission maybe once a month; going, doing their cool black-ops shit, getting what needed getting, and coming back to decent food and warm showers. Compared back to back jobs with a sprinkle of something exciting once in a while, this was definitely the life.

It helped that Ocelot didn’t give a shit what they did when they weren’t working. As long as they did their missions, and the whole unit showed up to Miller’s mandatory training sessions, they had the run of the place. Oh, and as long as they pissed off Miller without making too much of a headache for Ocelot. Geoffroy and Margay were eagerly in charge of that element of the job; they would spend weeks hogging the command platform range, which happened to be right next to Miller’s office, firing all the stupid, loud weapons they could get their hands on. R&D loved the guys. Miller, not so much.

While they were off doing that, Oncilla, as she often did, had sought out the shade and solitude of the intel dome’s shadow, only to find Pallas and Bay already there, along with honorary Ocelot Unit member, Quiet. They had stolen a hose from… somewhere, and had created a paddling pool in a warped piece of asphalt. Oncilla joined them eagerly, pulling off her boots to shove her feet in the cool water. She laid back on the hot surface and enjoyed the sounds of their new home.

Then there was a splash, and Oncilla was soaked to the bone. She opened her eyes and Pallas was stood over her, grinning like a shithead. She kicked him in the ankle, hard, and he fell directly into the glorified puddle. Quiet snorted from off to the side and kicked water in Pallas’ face. 

“That’s what you get,” Oncilla said, helping Pallas out of the puddle. He smiled genially before CQC-ing her directly into the ground. In fairness, Oncilla hadn’t seen it coming. She did see his next attack coming, though, and deftly rolled out of the way of a kick to the ribs and came up on her feet. Pallas was still grinning, more playfully now, so Oncilla dropped into a stance and slammed her shoulder into his chest.

They wrestled for a few minutes, Bay and Quiet watching attentively and making bets on who would win. Eventually, the sound of spurs clicking on the stairs up to their roof put the match on hold.

“Enjoying yourselves?” Ocelot asked, and Oncilla realised suddenly how she must have looked, hair down, soaked through and fairly bruised. At least, she thought, Pallas didn’t look much better.

Oncilla opened her mouth to answer, then realised she didn’t really have anything to say and closed it again. She just shrugged and looked at Pallas. “He started it?” she offered.

Ocelot huffed a laugh, which meant they weren’t in trouble at least. He looked at Quiet and raised an eyebrow, but she just smiled politely and waved at him. He looked back to the rest of them.

“Miller will be on the walkway to my office in three. Do with that what you will.” He gave them a conspiratory smirk and headed back down the stairs, clinking as he did.

“He wants us to dunk him with the hose, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Miller’s going to throw us into the ocean for that, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re going to do it though, yeah?”

Oncilla sighed, then tried not to laugh at their collective impending demise. “Yeah.”

Pallas started dragging the hose towards the edge of the roof, making sure to line it up carefully so that it wouldn’t be visible to someone coming up the walkway towards them. Bay was staring at the birds circling overhead, until she looked down and caught eyes with Oncilla.

“I think I have a way to douse Miller and save our asses,” she said.

“Do tell,” shouted Pallas from the railing. “I do not want to lose my nice water pressure.”

Bay didn’t say anything, looking between her two teammates and then, pointedly, at Quiet. Quiet looked at them all, narrowed her eyes, and flipped them off. But she didn’t leave.

“He already hates you,” Bay reasoned, “but you’re too useful for him to get rid of now. The Boss wouldn’t let him.”

Quiet tilted her head, looking away. She stayed like that for almost a minute before sighing through her nose and nodding.

Yes.  
Quiet knew that the Ocelot Unit were perennial trouble makers. Rain or shine, they were always pissing off someone, somewhere. Quiet also knew that as far as most of Intel and Combat were concerned, she was part of the Ocelot Unit and therefore, also a nuisance. And as far as Miller cared she was the worst demon from the depths of hell, so it wasn’t like a prank was going to make his opinion of her any worse. So sure, blast him with a hose. Funny.

“30 seconds,” Oncilla warned. Of course she was keeping track of time.

Quiet turned herself invisible, ripping her molecules apart, and crouched next to the hose, her hand on the lever. Pallas had picked a good spot; perfectly in the line of Miller’s route, and hard to spot unless you knew to look.

And here he came, limping along the walkway. Despite a shiny new prosthetic arm, Miller had refused to get his leg sorted. Moron. Quiet waited until he was a step away from the hose and then turned it on full blast.

Ha.

Oncilla didn’t actually see Commander Miller get hit with the hose. When Quiet turned it off and reappeared, she had headed to the railing to see the damage.

Miller was still standing, luckily, if leaning heavily on the walkway railing. He looked like someone had put a ferret through a washing machine. His beret was gone.

Ocelot slammed open his office door and didn’t react for a second. Oncilla thought he was probably deciding whether or not to laugh. Miller turned slowly towards him.

“What … the fuck?”

“We’ve been having a draining problem on the roof. Probably just runoff. Are you coming in?”

“It felt like a hose.” Miller looked up, but Quiet had already disappeared, and Oncilla bounced back from the edge before he could see her. 

“High pressure water is high pressure water. I’ll call maintenance. Are you coming?”

“Fine,” Miller sighed.

Oncilla almost felt bad, watching him drip his way into Ocelot's office. But then she remembered that he kept trying to disband their unit and felt much better.

The upholstery on Ocelot’s office chairs was ruined, the next time they went in, and Oncilla suspected that the daylight raid on an enemy FOB was probably his way of making them pay for it.


End file.
